Listen to the live reading of Toxic Navel String on Madam Poetry Podcast here on Substack.
The inner child revives
when family reunites
Shrinking back
into toxic traits
The old cat and mouse fights
Harsher comebacks
Met with "It's just a joke"
Though at my expense
The shield-wall advances toward enemy lines
The strong personalities
The narcissists
The belittlers
The silencers
The know-it-alls
The over-talkers
Those older
What a toxic mess.
All that shadowwork
Falls to the wayside
The new behaviours
Gasp for air
Strangled by familiar
Generational cords
Why did I return to this toxic mess?
My backbone isn't what it once was
She lost her edge
No longer trading insults for insults
Waving a peace flag instead
As a mind of sensitivity
Still springs salty droplets
A family of toxic mess.
Months of change
Unravelled in mere moments
I know distance is imminent
Redemption for the Fallen
Walk, run, jump, fly
Flee to another continent
A quieter life
Only reconnect
On special short times
Plotting my next escape
Back to light
Happier
Freer
Back to progress
But I'll always be tethered to our toxic mess.
Originally posted on Medium.com and cross-shared to the Substack community.
If you enjoyed this poem, read my book of poetry, Then Til Now The Decade Continues. It is a powerful blend of real-life situations as self-therapy, complete with journaling pages to help you transform pain into fulfilment.
Until next time. Keep working towards your dreams.
"It's just a joke". Such a classic narcissist line! Thank you for sharing this vulnerable read. I also enjoyed hearing you read it in your own voice at the link.